Ella's Diary
by PairOfWings
Summary: Diary entries of a sixteen year old lung cancer patient. How she's coping with everything and how her family is coping.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary 13/11/05

My name is Ella Black, I'm sixteen and I have lung cancer. I decided to start this diary to share my thoughts so I won't go crazy. I was admitted a couple of days ago after coughing up blood all over my desk during English completely scaring Mrs Bell.

I told my mum she could go home. She still had to look after my four siblings Jack, Molly, Sophie and Sam. The good thing about staying here is that my doctors so cute. His name is Dr shepherd also known as Mc dreamy. I know that because the nurses station is right outside my room so I can hear everything.

I better go a nurse is coming this way and it's about 11ish at night.

Ella 3

Dear Diary 15/11/05

Some doctors came in today and told me I'm going to an MRI or something like that. I'm a bit annoyed cause they came in at like 7 in the morning but whatever. One of the interns on my case is Dr Grey and she's really nice but her friend Dr Yang scares me. Lately I've been getting a really sharp pain I'm my chest I've told the doctors and they all had unreadable expressions so I'm guessing it's not good.

I've received cards from my school and class mates. The best one was from my two best friends Maddie and Ash. Maddie's visited me once we talked all day about anything and everything. Well she talked about clothes I talked about Doctor Who my Favourite TV show.

Next month is Christmas and they said I might be spending Christmas in the hospital sad TODALLY but I understand. My mum wasn't thrilled about it but she will come and visit me I hope. I met another cancer patient yesterday she was very nice and funny I think we will be really good friends her name was Becca.

Bye3

Dear Diary, 21/11/05

I've been in here a week and already I want to go home. Some of the nurses are annoying they seem to think I'm just a child and don't think I'm ready to know anything. They talk about my vitals and when I ask they over the top explain it I'm sixteen for god's sake.

My guy best friend Ash came by a couple of days ago. He brought my favourite movie and a block of caramel chocolate. He lay next to me on my bed and we watched the movie and he told me what's been going on at school. Apparently people think I'm going to die who came up with that rumour I do not know but that's just pathetic. I'm having my first radiation treatment tomorrow so I cant writ cause they said it makes you feel horrible. Write when I can. Bye 3


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary, 23/12/05

It's 2 till Christmas. The hospital halls are covered with a few decorations and the waiting areas have small but pretty Christmas trees in them I helped decorate one. My mum came in this morning with the whole family I was so excited to see them. Little Sam got lost in the hospital though and sent a couple nurses and my mum into a panic though he was only hiding behind the nurses desk. Becca and I seem to be getting on well she's definitely one of my good friends. I haven't seen ash in age's he's texted me a couple of times saying he's busy and can't make it but I really miss him.

Oh and I heard some juicy gossip from the nurses apparently mc dreamy has a wife he forgot to tell his girlfriend Dr grey. So not cool. Maddie came to see me as well I think she hates school now I'm not there but she still comes in and asks how to do some of the homework. Its weird to say I miss school but I really do sitting in this hospital room all day is getting on my nerves especially since all there is on TV at daytime is some stupid overdramatic show about how their boyfriend cheated on them with their sister.

Well got to go Becca's here were going to walk around the hospital or well sneak ;).

Dear Diary, 25/12/05

Well todays Christmas. I'm still a bit sad I'm spending it in the hospital but I have the people I love around me- most of the time. I got a pair of chucks and a new skateboard (not that I can use it) from my family and the cutest thing was ash came in and gave me this necklace with a gold heard on it. Engraved on it was 'never give up' of course I gave him a hug and maybe a little kiss. That I got teased by my mum about later.

While I've been in hospital I've had some time to think sometimes I'm scared know one will love me, then my friends will stop seeing me and my family will give up on me. I know that will never happen well the 'love' part ehh I ended up singing Christmas carols with daisy for the rest of the night she's so cute.

Well I think that's it nite x

Dear Diary, 31/12/05

It's NEW YEARS EVE. Im so excited can you believe that. I walked past the break room and I hear nurses and doctors congratulating everyone. Sometimes I wish I lived in NY cause seeing the ball drop would be so awesome ae joining in the countdown then celebrating the new year.

The doctors say I'm actually getting better though little by little but moving around is a huge improvement. Dr yang still gives me the shivers she just seems so cold but no one can be that cold without a reason can they so whatever hers is she should sort it out. But its 11:59 now becca's in my room counting down with me 'and we better start.'

Well I better go then nite x

Dear Diary, 3/01/06

On New Year 's Day. Becca and I sort of started a little party it was really fun until the doctors told becca and some other patients to go back to their rooms sad guy. A doctor called Dr bailey came in today apparently people call her the Nazi but I don't understand why she's nice to me and short so I like her cause I'm short to.

Ash came to see me again today and the weirdest thing happened my tummy went all lopsided and my checks burned lucky I could say it was because of chemo otherwise that would have been embarrassing nut I think I like ash more than a friend.

Nite x

Dear Diary, 5/01/06

YEP I deffently like my best friend ash. This could ruin our whole friendship I mean if we date it could end badly and ruin years of friendship and never speak to each other again.

'but you also could live happy ever after' this is what happens if you write while beccas in the room she just has to interfere.

'Excuse me I have you know I don't interfere with everything Mel broke up with her boyfriend because she wanted to and I love your diary'

Anyway what if dosnt like me back I mean then the friendship is defiantly down the drain augah

Nite x

Dear Diary, 6/01/06

I decided not to tell ash I like him even though it's killing me inside. My chemo therapy is going okay I still hate the feeling I have afterwards it's so annoying and I feel sick. My hair is nearly all gone now but mum got me a blue and green patterned bandana and I like it. It's very unique cause she got my class to sigh it now that's away to feel loved .

I watched some episodes of doctor who and the new doctor David tenant is really awesome I quite like him also the comedy show friends was on after that gave me a real laugh. My mum says it's good to hear me laugh again I know she's missed me I miss her to and the kiddy winks. I don't speak of my father because I don't know him he left before I was born. I did have a step dad but he left as well after Sam was born leaving mum to look after 5 children. It must be hard for her with me in the hospital but I know she's strong well she needs to be for her sake and the kiddies.

Maddie visited again just in time to hear Dr Montgomery's outburst about Dr grey she thought it was fantastic we sat and listened to all the gossip the nurses chatted about it had changed so much. Most of the words had been twisted and changed. It was quite funny. Well I better go nite x


End file.
